Valentine's Day

It's past 1 in the morning on Feb 15th, 2014 and I can't sleep maybe it's the interview I had the previous day or that it was just Valentine's Day or something else. After all my sleep schedule and metabolism is so fucked up. I usually go to sleep after 1 and sleep to 11. It's no wonder I can't sleep. But still.

Easter

I don't dread Valentine's Day. In elementary school Valentine's Day was significant. It meant giving cards to classmates, and receiving them. Now that I'm almost 26 it's just like any other day. Yeah I'm single. I don't dread it or look forward to it. For me Valentine's Day means Easter is just around the corner. That I'm going to have to talk to people I've known my whole life but only see a few times a year. And that I'm going to have to go to church. 

This is how church has gone for me over the past few years. I drive separately from my parent's, who are fully devoted to the church. I arrive close to when the service begins and dash out quickly after it ends, avoiding talking to people except in the quick meet and greet during the service. Sure I could stay and chat with people after the service ends. I've done that and it sucks. They ask me how I'm doing, what I've been up to. I say that I'm doing good, but that's not what I want to say. I really want to explain to them how shitty my life has been since high school. How I went to college, got a degree in Recreation and Tourism, haven't found a full time job, live with my parent's and definitely am not in a romantic relationship with anyone. Which society looks upon as being inferior. Yeah church got me a homecoming and prom date in high school, although the prom date was a fat chick, but it didn't get me a girlfriend.

I see why human beings go out and kill a bunch of people. You say your doing good to people enough times and it can make you go crazy. Personally I don't have any desire to go kill a bunch of innocent people, but I can see their motives. It's that built up anger, those negative feelings, those hates for the world all being unleashed at once in a sea of blood and tears. Here's a solution to preventing mass killings based on a simple conversation:

Person A: So how you doing?

Person B: I'm doing fine (yeah we all know what fine stands for)

Person A: Really? Is that truly how you feel?

At this point if Person B doesn't admit how they truly feel then Person A needs to continue probing with questions until they do.

Perhaps if we let people genuinely express themselves through words we can avoid physical battles later on. I may still get a girlfriend from church there are some pretty cute girls at church but I'm not counting on it. I'm just not the most confident person in the world. 

Random thoughts 

College wasn't that bad in fact it was the best years of my life and was definitely better than high school.

I saw the family I visit with every Easter after church. I ended up having dinner with them tonight along with my parents. Still dreading Easter, but it can't be that bad, especially if I have a full time job, maybe even a girlfriend.

It's past 1 in the morning on Feb. 16th as I right this and no e-mails from anyone regarding a job interview I had on the 14th. The lady was supposed to e-mail me a questionnaire to fill out. Oh well, given how the interview ended the lady probably never wants to deal with me again. Somehow I think asking what your chances of getting the job are at the end of an interview is bad. The lady responded by asking if there was any other places I was interviewing with.....yeah...probably not a good sign.

And another thing. The place I went to the job fair was at a Bakery. I walk in looking for where the job fair is and can't find it. After searching the entire cafe I ended up asking one of the workers where the fair was. She told me to go talk to the lady in the pink scarf. Turns out I walked past that lady when I was looking for the job fair. I swear that's part of the interview. They probably wanted me to walk in and grab some food and ask one of the employees right from the get go instead of walking around looking lost. Yeah I even got compliments on my resume. Guess that's not enough. Perhaps I need to use less fancy paper. Oh well I could still hear a response back. But I'm not banking on it.

To a certain girl I'm friends with on Facebook. If your reading this I saw the cover photo you posted on Valentine's Day. You immediately took it down the next day and replaced it with a photo of flowers, but I saw the photo. At first when I looked at the photo I thought it was Crescent Lake on the northern side of the Olympic Peninsula. But then I saw the side of the road the lake was on and thought this can't be right. Then I figured hey maybe she was looking back when she took the picture. I'm right. I would have commented on the photo. But I'd rather tell you in person.




Yeah that's the photo

Oh Valentine's Day. Just another hallmark holiday I guess.